Breaking Stereotypes: Part I (WHY)

Why Are There Stereotypes? 

"There are two kinds of people in this world. Those who believe that there are only two kinds of people. And those who don't stereotype."~ Unknown. 

                 All of us, consciously or subconsciously, are guilty of having stereotyped people around us at some point of our lives. Is it because of the society we grow up in? Or a more animal-istic need to classify everything we see around us. History is proof that being different is never taken as a good thing by the majority of the population and it creates a kind of herd mentality, which forces the 'different' to change themselves against their nature to fit in. 

In my opinion, the first step towards stopping stereotypes, is to understand the root cause behind it. Media and society are the means of its propagation, but not always the source. It is something intrinsic. It is the human need to feel part of a group. And whenever we form groups we draw an imaginary line. A line between the "us" and the "them". "We" classify "them". Mentally reason out why "We" are superior. Why they are unlike us and are to be treated like outcasts. "We" might not outright hate them. "We" simply dont like them cause they are different. It is human tendency to hate/fear what we dont understand. Slowly the imaginary line spreads. Inside our groups to divide "We" into "me" and "others." If we look carefully, half of what we say, think or imagine is influenced by some form of stereotypes or unfounded beliefs. Even something as simple as saying, "the grass is always greener on the other side....". 

The major issue is, in my belief, something which might sound extremely ridiculous. It is our habit of holding back our imaginations. What it means is that where we look, whatever we see, we merely see the narrow version of it. We edit out what we don't want to see or know. In psychology this is called selective perception. We look at everything from our point of view. Anything which doesnt fit our view is dealt with hostility. We think that there can only be two sides of a coin. The "us" and the "them". What we never realise is that maybe, there are more then two or three sides. That there are millions of sides. We are all individual 'sub species'. Different stories, different tastes, different versions. This is what we should be doing. Instead of telling kids that we are all humans and we are all the same, it is time we tell them that, yes we are all humans; but we are all DIFFERENT.! And they can choose to be anyone they want to be without being afraid of being different. Its not just us and them. We are all unique.

 The moment someone gasps this logic that humans are not merely a homogeneous species but every single individual is a sub-species, in a sense of speaking, with our own characteristics and choices. Maybe then we will realise that we cannot and should not use one lens to view everyone. And then we will stop judging people simply because of how they look, talk where they come from or what they believe in etc, and then, maybe we can finally have complete acceptance of each others existence and peace.

At the end of the day, we were all born different. Till society convinced us that we need to fit in. 

Stereotypes and Reality

Conversations are important 

The previous week I had an amazing start to a project called 'Global Conversations' by The Red Elephant Foundation. Since, I was a participant of The Building Peace Project (2014-15) from the previous year, I was all the more looking forward to this expansive reach of a new project going global. The world is indeed a 'global village' and this project proves this fact. How otherwise was it possible for me to interact with people from Indonesia, Kenya, Rwanda, Fiji, Philippines and Pakistan ... and so many other nations about whom I only possess limited information. This project is a meeting ground for people from different cultures to get to talk and know about different cultures, different lives. I am certain that it is going to be an even more exciting experience for me, in the same fashion as The Building Peace Project was. I love the fact that despite many clashes, confrontations, challenges and troubles that we face everyday as inhabitants of nation-states, we have been able to in a limited manner, overcome those and come together on a common platform for dialogue.

The first session began with a round of introductions and I felt blessed to be part of such a diverse group. Quite appropriately, this session was devoted to a discussion on 'stereotypes'. Thinking of the term, we are so used ton creating and furthering stereotypes in our lives about the 'others' that we do not know and have never met, that images about how they are ... are deeply imprinted into our minds and hearts. This propels us to label them in ways more than one. It stunts our capacities to know and interact with 'real' people who are so different from what we think of them. I admit that this process of building and propagating stereotypes is so imbibed within us from childhood and is such an integral part of the socialization process, that we hardly realize the diversity and cultural richness that exists around us, yet we are ignorant to miss relishing it. Over the previous year, as I participated in the BPP project, I broke for myself many a stereotypes that were self-created. This was the first time I was involved in an year long interaction with a Pakistani (my supposed enemy). I held this deep conviction that though we would be talking, it was difficult to forge a long-sustaining, inexplicable bond that would go beyond the realm of formal interactions in the project. Today, when I talk to Salma, Sehr, Uzair, Sheharyar and many other friends from Pakistan, I fail to comprehend my relationship with them. I find it difficult to put it into mere words. The fact that my Pakistani friends are now so close to me, almost like my real brothers and sisters, was something that I wasn't prepared for. That this happened to me broke a stereotype that I had created for myself - that these cross-border friendships would fizzle out soon once the project has culminated. Today, I talk more with my cross-border friends than I do with my friends in my own country.

Where do these stereotypes originate from? To me, the answer is reality and lived experiences. It is easy to dismiss stereotypes as stemming from one's own bias and prejudice. But, the fact is that stereotypes are very much rooted in realities that we experience everyday. So, if I see a particular person/community engaged in violence in my city and if this is repetitive, I am bound to associate 'violence' as a characteristic with that community. However, in creating this stereotype I am being unfair to those 'others' who are peaceful and who despise the violent acts of their fellow community members. As is said, stereotypes flourish because they are easy to form, uncomplicated and make it simpler to identify people, groups and communities with certain traits. What is complex is trying to understand that each person is different and associating people with stereotypes may rob us of the chance to learn about cultural diversity and lend us incapable of appreciating the pluralism that exists and makes our society worth living. Hence, all we need is to stop being 'judgemental' about people and learn to accept that even if stereotypes are formed owing to real experiences, we should also be willing to look beyond this reality. We also need to take efforts to address situations that in effect only entrench stereotypes rather than dispelling them.

We need to talk, meet, open up and explore many different possibilities so that both the reality and stereotypes that emanate from it can be countered if not completely removed. I was talking, the other day, to a Bihari colleague of mine and thought it would be good to share with him the kind of stereotypes associated with his community. The statement that rushed out from my mouth was ... "You know it is said Biharis are like this .... "
A few minutes of talking with him and I realized I was wrong in presuming things. Talking, opening up with your doubts, questions, answers can make a lot of difference when it comes to stereotypes. Within a few minutes of interaction, I was thinking of something completely different than what I had been conditioned to think and believe. That is why 'conversations' are a must. That is why I am here in 'Global Conversations'. While stereotypes may never be out of currency as long as the human race exists, at least the talking can go on!!! HOPING FOR MORE AND MORE TALKS :)